Like Stacy, I had the opportunity this past weekend to hear Sister Julie Beck and Sister Mary Cook speak to the all of the women in our area. As expected the meeting was nothing short of wonderful. From the opening notes of the first musical number, the spirit was rich and powerful. There were so many wonderful topics discussed and stories told. One theme in particular seemed to stand out to me especially – happiness. We should be a happy people. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives and we have so much to be grateful for. One quote that has been mulling around in my brain since the meeting was read by Sister Beck. President Kimball told the sisters(although I think it should equally apply to all of the men) of the church that we should be “distinct and different – in happy ways – from the women of the world.” So I have really been thinking about that. There is no question that I am different. You can’t possibly spend 5 or more minutes in my company and not realize that I am a very “different” person. But in a happy way??? I don’t know. It made me wonder if a person meeting me for the first time would get the vibe from me that I am happy. Did that girl ringing up my groceries get the feeling that I am happy as she heard me tell Dallin “No, we are not buying a toy”, or tell Mandy, “Stop whining or I am going to put you in time out right now”, or tell Layton, “I’m sorry you are just going to have to cry, I can’t get you out of the buggy right now.” Probably not. Do my neighbors see me as a happy person? Probably not, we see very little of them. We really need to reach out to them more. Do the most important people in my life, my kids and my husband, feel happiness radiating from me? Probably not. My voice and persona is too often laced with anger or frustration or sometimes desperation. I don’t like the idea of that.
So something needs to change. I want people around me to be able to know that I AM happy. That I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and that I want my life to be a reflection of that love and commitment. You know the passage in the scriptures that talks about what great worth each person is to our Father in Heaven and how great will be our joy if we bring be it but one soul into the gospel of Jesus Christ? Well, the souls that matter most to me are my children and my husband. I want to find joy in bringing my own soul to Christ and even more joy in helping them come unto Him. So that is what I am committing myself to do. Be happy. Smile more. Laugh often. Be delighted at the smallest things. Radiate joy.
I think I’m already off to a good start. I just opened the book where I had written my notes from the meeting and a little slip of paper fell out. It reads, “I love you! Your husband!” Who knows when he wrote that and stuck it in there. But I was DELIGHTED to find it. I love you too Nathan!
I'm so jealous!!! You had a mini-TOFW and didn't tell me and A. Becky about it?!! Shame, shame, shame...everybody knows your name! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Katheryn...if I could only express to you how much this blog touched my heart and reaffirmed every that I learned at the women's conference!!! I have a renewed sense of purpose now that I, too, want to show those around me that I AM a "happy, distinct" person...especially my daughter and husband :) Motherhood is filled with so much joy and so many blessings, but often times I feel the strain, the frustration that you expressed that you've also felt. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my weaknesses and in the chance to make them my strengths. I'm making myself the goal to live happier and more full of joy even in the hard times. Thanks for your shining example and honesty...you've just brought one more soul unto him...be happy in knowing that :)
ReplyDeleteThey were in our stake before they came to yours!! How cool is that?? When they said they were leaving for Jacksonville I thought of all of you!
ReplyDeleteDid Sister Beck take questions from the audience? She did in our meeting, and I asked a question. ;)
I am so sorry Kylia. I just didn't even think about it. It would have been such a long drive for a two hour meeting. I think they are planning more visits to the southern states, so maybe they will be over closer to you guys in the next few months.
ReplyDeleteCarrie you are so sweet!
Jennifer - yes she took questions from the audience. What did you ask? And what was her answer?
My questions was-
ReplyDelete"Sister Beck, you must be aware of some of the rumblings your conference talk 'Mothers Who Know' caused. What would you say to those sisters who are feeling overworked, overwhelmed and underappraciated?"Her answer was very interesting, to say the least. At first she basically said "I make no apologies for my remarks in that talk. When you live a life of faith, life is hard. Motherhood is hard. Deal with it. Next."
Then she went on to say that she felt home making was important because it gave women a chance to teach and connect with their families. It was important to maintain clean and orderly homes in order for family life to flourish and for those teaching moments to happen. Then she went on to talk about how it was important to plan and prioritize.
It was a very interesting and thought-provoking answer to say the least. Several women from my ward and stake have emailed and/or called to say how much they appreciated my question. Some of the sisters were really taken aback by the bluntness of her "life is hard, deal with it" answer.
Jennifer - that is really funny that you mention her bluntnesss. A question was asked about depression and how this sister felt that the leaders of the church have not spent enough time talking about the plight of those who live with it. Sister Beck answered back with - I know that many, many sister suffer from depression and not to take anything away from those that deal with clinically diagnosed depression, but for all others - life is hard, if you are having a hard time is life, turn to your Father in Heaven. We have so much to be grateful for. We should be a happy people. If you are having a hard time getting out of bed each morning - just do it. Get out of bed, take a shower, dress up for the day and take on a positive attitude. I think some people there were a little taken aback by her attitude, but I loved it!
ReplyDeleteWow! I have to say Katheryn, that you are clearly a more generous and Christ-like person than I am because her answer to the depression question would have had my blood boiling!
ReplyDeleteThis is all so interesting to me. The question that was asked before mine was "We have so many sisters with so many needs. At what point do we pull back and let the sisters help themselves a bit more?"Sister Beck's response to that was there should not be any limits on our comapssion and what we are willing to do for someone.
To me, that seems a bit at odds with the response she gave to my question ("Life is hard. Deal with it.") and the response to the question about helping those dealing with depression.
I love that as LDS women we have so much to be grateful for and happy about, and I think it's good that we are reminded of that by our leaders.
Hmmm...I was just struck with an idea (and I'm thinking/writing out loud here, so bear with me/feel free to ignore/ think out loud with me as necessary ;D). Thinking back over the talks I've heard/read from Sister Beck (and this was probablly the fourth or fifth talk I've heard from her, and the second in person), she seems to focus from the *outside in*. (Having a clean house will lead to more spirituality, getting up/showering/etc will help you not feel depressed- and I'm strongly paraphrasing here.)
It's always been my approach- and I respond more strongly to the leaders that take this approach- of working from the *inside out*. If I'm strong mentally, spiritually, and emotionally then I'm able to be stronger physically.
Sister Beck seems to have much empathy from those sisters who are suffering physically; who's physical needs are great. On the other hand, she doesn't seem to have as much empathy for those sisters who are suffering in some way internally (hence the "Life is hard. Deal with it" comments).
Of course, this is all just my observation. It makes me want to go look up and read all of her talks to see if this observation has any merit.
Katheryn, I am so glad that you enjoyed the meeting! I thought it was interesting that the YW leaders put "smile" as one of their challenges for YW to do everyday. I have so much to be happy about, and yet I forget sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Sister Beck's bluntness... I think we need a little more of that sometimes to kick our butts into gear (at least I do) rather than talking about problems as if they're things everyone else has but not us. She is great!
Jennifer - I agree, Sister Beck does sometimes seem to focus on things going on outwardly. But I really don't think that she means for it to take away from anything that can be accomplished inwardly. I think she just likes to point out that often what we do physically can affect how we feel spiritually. I have to admit that is sometimes true for me. After thoroughly cleaning the house (which is something that I admittedly don't do often enough), I feel a sense of accomplishment and feel happy in my environment. Now is that my only source of happiness? Of course not, and absolutely not even the most important one. I feel even greater happiness when one of my children reminds US when its time to read from the scriptures or after receiving a sweet peaceful answer to a heartfelt prayer. I think that Sister Beck is just trying to say that in addition to the things that we do for our spiritual growth, like prayer, scripture reading, pondering, etc. (which she obviously does herself, she was a master at flipping through the scriptures to find a pertinent verse), there are things that we can do physically (including compassionate service as that is often a physical act of some sort) that can give us a little extra feel good boost as well. I think she just wants us to understand that the physical and spiritual parts of our soul is connected and we need to recognize and take advantage of that connection.
ReplyDeleteI also went and listened to the talks. I liked Sisters Beck's answers to the questions. I had a sister that I visited whom was very depressed one day when we went to visit her. So was sitting in the dark curtains closed. And I had to listen to poor pitiful me the whole time I was there. Lets just say that We told her that she needed to get out of the house and go do service for someone else to get her mind off her, and realize that everyone else had just as many problems as she did and some way worse! And to turn some lights on she she didn't feel like she was in such a dark place! The next time we seen her she apoligized for the way she was acting. Life is hard deal with it. I've heard my entire life, (only they weren't as nice words comming from my parents) so my friends may hear me complain about my troubles, but life is hard and I will deal with it.
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