I am sure that all parents experience the well meaning acquaintance, friend, or even family member that decides that you need to be told how to raise your child. I know that even I have been guilty of lending advice when none was asked for or needed. Everyone has their own parenting ideas and styles. Does that make one better than another? No, just different. It irritates me to be criticized for doing what I think is best for my children. For instance, someone telling me that because Layton slept for a long time one night that he could do it every night and that I should let him cry it out and not give in and feed him. My view on that is entirely different. Layton is on the very bottom of the weight scale and so I happen to think that he needs that extra nutrition he gets when he wakes up at night. And really if I don't mind being a bit sleep deprived, should that matter to anyone else? Besides, I have found that there is a direct correlation between my stress level and the amount of time I have to hear Layton cry. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I don't use the crying out method at all. I just believe in waiting until a baby is at least 6 months old and I only put him down in his crib to fall asleep on his own when I know that he has a full tummy and is very tired. When I do it that way, Layton always falls asleep in just few minutes. And a few minutes of crying is something I can totally handle, but having to listen to him cry for an hour in the middle of the night because he is hungry is not something that I am willing to do. I have also been criticized for "spoiling" my children by holding them too much. But can you really hold a baby TOO MUCH? Is it really spoiling a child to hold him and kiss him and hug him and have him with you all day long? To me, that's not spoiling him, that's just loving him. When I am older and I look back on the time that I spent with my children, I don't want there to ever be a thought in my head that I wish I would have loved on, held, hugged, kissed, played with, or tickled my children more. So for now, I fully intend to hold my baby as much as it takes so that I hear fewer cries, kiss his cheeks as often as possible so that I wipe away fewer tears, and look into his eyes and smile all day long so that I see more smiles and fewer quivering lips. And tonight when I wake up at two o'clock in the morning with Layton, rather than complaining, I intend to say a prayer of gratitude that I am able to serve him and love him in this special way. Even if it means that I have to spend my days in a sleepy haze. Knowing that Layton, and my other two sweet children, are taken care of in a way that makes me happy and feel like I am serving them with all my heart, is well worth it.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Happily Sleep Deprived
I am sure that all parents experience the well meaning acquaintance, friend, or even family member that decides that you need to be told how to raise your child. I know that even I have been guilty of lending advice when none was asked for or needed. Everyone has their own parenting ideas and styles. Does that make one better than another? No, just different. It irritates me to be criticized for doing what I think is best for my children. For instance, someone telling me that because Layton slept for a long time one night that he could do it every night and that I should let him cry it out and not give in and feed him. My view on that is entirely different. Layton is on the very bottom of the weight scale and so I happen to think that he needs that extra nutrition he gets when he wakes up at night. And really if I don't mind being a bit sleep deprived, should that matter to anyone else? Besides, I have found that there is a direct correlation between my stress level and the amount of time I have to hear Layton cry. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I don't use the crying out method at all. I just believe in waiting until a baby is at least 6 months old and I only put him down in his crib to fall asleep on his own when I know that he has a full tummy and is very tired. When I do it that way, Layton always falls asleep in just few minutes. And a few minutes of crying is something I can totally handle, but having to listen to him cry for an hour in the middle of the night because he is hungry is not something that I am willing to do. I have also been criticized for "spoiling" my children by holding them too much. But can you really hold a baby TOO MUCH? Is it really spoiling a child to hold him and kiss him and hug him and have him with you all day long? To me, that's not spoiling him, that's just loving him. When I am older and I look back on the time that I spent with my children, I don't want there to ever be a thought in my head that I wish I would have loved on, held, hugged, kissed, played with, or tickled my children more. So for now, I fully intend to hold my baby as much as it takes so that I hear fewer cries, kiss his cheeks as often as possible so that I wipe away fewer tears, and look into his eyes and smile all day long so that I see more smiles and fewer quivering lips. And tonight when I wake up at two o'clock in the morning with Layton, rather than complaining, I intend to say a prayer of gratitude that I am able to serve him and love him in this special way. Even if it means that I have to spend my days in a sleepy haze. Knowing that Layton, and my other two sweet children, are taken care of in a way that makes me happy and feel like I am serving them with all my heart, is well worth it.
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5 comments:
I cannot think of anyone who parents better than you (In my opinion). Lil David and Sherri run right up there with you. The involvement with the whole family just blows me away with all the sacrifices made for church and family. I love, admire and respect your tenacity to do the right thing and then turning around and doing the thing right.
Mema
I think your a wonderful mother. One of the women that I see at church as a great example, with talents and qualities I wish I had! So don't change a thing:)
I totally agree with you. I hate my kids waking in the middle of the night and I know they are hungry. I just can't do it. Actually so far my boys both didnt sleep through the night until I took their bottles away at 14 months. Now I am sleep deprived with twin girls but it is totally worth it. I love my children and I believe I am too the best one who knows what they want or need.
So true - my kids were always the opposite, at the top of the weight charts but I still fed them all night too! People are too pushy with their opinions sometimes!
I agree with you, Katheryn! YOU know better than anyone else what is BEST for your children! Keep doing that and you'll be fine. Don't worry about what other people think. Their opinions really don't matter. You are a great mom, keep up the good work!
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