When dropping off Dallin for school, I had been walking him through the maze of the school to his classroom each morning. Then I got him convinced that he could do it himself and I began only walking him to the door of the school. Then came the morning when we got to the pathway that leads between two houses and up to the school that Dallin told me that he could go the rest of the way himself and he didn't need me to walk with him all the way to school anymore. It didn't really bother me when Dallin start school and as mention I had already been pushing him to some degree self-suffiencency, but when he told me that he didn't need me to walk with him anymore it pulled just a bit at my hearstrings. Even though I am happy that he is growing up and learning to do things for himself, that little declaration of independence gave me a flash of the future when my children would no longer be so dependent on me. Somewhere deep inside I think I had this quiet wish that I could keep my children all to myself and never have to let them go or only let them go just enough that they would be doing things on their own but I could still watch them go safely to their destination. I know I will have to suppress that little wish. And I am afraid that as they get older it is going to be harder and harder to do. I wish that I could be with them, holding their hand, through all of life's difficult decisions. But I know I can't and so I am going to have to hope that they will learn to listen to the Spirit and allow him to be their guide. If they do that, I know that they will have much better direction in their lives than I could ever provide. Heavenly Father really knows what he is doing. He gives children fallible imperfect parents, but yet provides a way that they can receive perfect help directly from Him.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Independence Day
When dropping off Dallin for school, I had been walking him through the maze of the school to his classroom each morning. Then I got him convinced that he could do it himself and I began only walking him to the door of the school. Then came the morning when we got to the pathway that leads between two houses and up to the school that Dallin told me that he could go the rest of the way himself and he didn't need me to walk with him all the way to school anymore. It didn't really bother me when Dallin start school and as mention I had already been pushing him to some degree self-suffiencency, but when he told me that he didn't need me to walk with him anymore it pulled just a bit at my hearstrings. Even though I am happy that he is growing up and learning to do things for himself, that little declaration of independence gave me a flash of the future when my children would no longer be so dependent on me. Somewhere deep inside I think I had this quiet wish that I could keep my children all to myself and never have to let them go or only let them go just enough that they would be doing things on their own but I could still watch them go safely to their destination. I know I will have to suppress that little wish. And I am afraid that as they get older it is going to be harder and harder to do. I wish that I could be with them, holding their hand, through all of life's difficult decisions. But I know I can't and so I am going to have to hope that they will learn to listen to the Spirit and allow him to be their guide. If they do that, I know that they will have much better direction in their lives than I could ever provide. Heavenly Father really knows what he is doing. He gives children fallible imperfect parents, but yet provides a way that they can receive perfect help directly from Him.
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1 comment:
Yikes, this is scary to a new mom just starting out! =) I guess I will just soak in these days when the baby is 100% dependent on me and try not to think about him/her leaving me!
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